Mommy of the Month

Have you ever hit a rock bottom mommy moment where you find yourself in the tub two hours later drinking chocolate chips out of a plastic cup? Oh, you haven't? I guess it's just me then. 

I have yelled at my children. Lots. I have given them the mommy eye. Lots. I have even flicked there heads when they are being morons. But tonight takes the cake. Tonight I lost my shit. Yes, I said shit. And it is gone. Probably somewhere in the Himalayas sucking it's thumb. 

Let's preface that I have been with out my partner in crime and the kids have been without their favorite person ever, for six days. I know it doesn't matter or shouldn't matter, it is nothing compared to what a lot of people do, but I think subconsciously we are all going a bit bananas. 

Jack and I had already had a run in earlier in the day and worked it out. He played a great basketball game and we all came home happy. I even let them watch half a cartoon while I bathed Lanes and told them they could watch the other half after their bath while I fed and put Laney to sleep. I should be in the Mommy of the Month Club, right? How cool am I to let them do that before bed? Flash forward to them in the tub. Lots of yelling, splashing, banging, full on freaking out happening in there while I am dressing my screaming boo bear. And right out Laney's window it went. Buh-bye my shit. Smell ya later! I yanked them out of the tub sopping wet, checked for blood, threw their jammies at them as I yelled, What in the hell is wrong with you two? I did it. I officially swore at my kids. What in the hell is wrong with me? 

I went back to Laney who is naked and high-centered on her towel. Ugh, what is happening? Get it together girl, they are four and six. I go back out, ask them each what they did wrong. I thought we were getting somewhere when Millie said she needed to use her words and not freak out. But then we move to Jack, who is my loving, intelligent child, but one who soooo encompasses a first child. By that, I mean, one who only thinks about himself about 90% of the time. J's first words were, do we still get the second half of Octonauts? Double ugh! I don't need to continue but we worked it out. And they did get the second half, just because I was too tired and Laney was too hungry for me to continue the fight and the tears that I would have to listen to as I put her down. FAIL.

Or is it a fail? Maybe I should've sent them straight to bed, maybe not. As I lay in the tub pounding my chocolate chips, I'm not sure. Because you know what? They are little. They had a fight in the tub. And although it scared me, they survived. We talked about how we let ourselves down as I tucked them in. How we all need to do better next time communicating. Explaining to Millie what communicating means. Her saying how she is going to conumicate so much tomorrow. Yeah, I think we are doing okay. Plus I got more I love you's, and kisses blown at me tonight as I left then I have had in a long time. They must have learned something, right? I dunno, maybe it's just the chocolate chips talking. 

(In memory of happier tub times)