I've been weaning myself from my children. That sounds super strange. Over the last year or so (yes it is taking me that long) I have been trying to take more of a back seat when it comes to on the floor playing. But it is hard for me! I have not only the guilt of these short years looming over my head, but also a five and three year old who have tremendously gorgeous eyes asking to play with me. Look at them! Look at them and say no, I dare you!
I have seen some improvement when it comes to having them play independently or with each other, but the last few months of constantly saying, "Just go play!" wears on a person. Do they still feel loved? Are they going to turn into adults who end up on TLC's My Strange Addiction all because their mother couldn't play dinosaurs for another minute? Probably not. But my point is, is for me there is such a fine between teaching them independent play and them depending on me to entertain and help their imaginations along. Isn't that what we are supposed to do as parents? But how much? IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WITH THE MAGIC RECIPE?!?!
I want to raise children who can thrive on their own, feel confident, creative, and happy. And I think I am figuring it out. Slowly but surely. Honestly, I remember playing with my parents a little, but most of my childhood memories are from playing with friends, my sister, and in my room. I remember playing in my room, alone, a lot. And I was happy doing so! I am hoping that as long as I am designating a portion of my day to just them, all the nagging and the GO PLAY WITH YOUR SISTER!'s won't be a sound they remember in their heads for the rest of their lives.
What are your thoughts? I would love anyone who checks in here every now to lend a guilt ridden mother some of their opinions. Is this just me? Or do we all have this overwhelming feeling that the disappointing things we do or say to our children might stay with them FOREVER? Even if it is for the better good of them?
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Ha. I wonder daily how much I'm screwing up my children.
But I think teaching them how to entertain and figure things out on their own is HUUUUGE and must be started early. I'm probably too much the opposite - "Go outside, and don't come in unless you're bleeding, broken, or burning." (Okay, maybe I'm not quite that bad.)(Or maybe I am.....)
But seeing my kids interact in public helps me know that pushing them to be independent has been a good thing. They're not afraid to talk to other kids at the park. They don't come running to me every time there's a little tiff among their friends while they're playing. Quite frankly, it makes me a little smug to see my kids brush off an incident and see friends' kids come screaming to their moms because someone bumped them.
Not to mention - for your own sanity (or at least that's how I feel), you've got to be an adult. Yes, play on occasion, but they need to know that you're not just one of their friends. You're their mother, a grown up, and you do have important things to do as well - they don't command you.
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