This was a new one

I'm just going to start it out by saying that my 57 year old dad has a fart machine. It only comes out about every three months or so, and lucky for us it was up for it's quarterly review last night!

The kids had been running around planting the speaker behind grandma as she bent over the garbage, saying their tummies hurt then letting it rip, you get the idea. The kids eventually put it away and moved on to watching The Incredibles and jumping around like superheroes in the basement.

As the night was winding down and we were preparing to leave, out of the blue Jack starts crying. " I WANT THE FART MACHINE!" I mean not alligator tears, these were elephant tears. Not a tantrum, but an actual sadness. Like someone had come and ripped his favorite toy from his hands and whisked it away in a cage to some mythical land.

So no joke, I want you mom and dad's to try and have this conversation without smiling. " Honey, we can't take the fart machine home." " WHHHYYYY?"" Well sweetie, grandma and grandpa would be super sad if they didn't have their fart machine. They need their fart machine. So the fart machine stays here, okay?"

It took my seven year old nephew telling Jack that they could make their own fart machines on their arms to make the tears stop. This made him laugh for a minute until we got in the car and heard the sad, sad story of him needing the fart machine all over again half the way home.

So that's a new one I didn't read about in the parents guide.