"It was totally your fault."

As I cleaned my house today the kids ran around like they always do. Occasionally helping me Windex, then building a fort, Millie will get out her vacuum, Jack wants to play the Wii. This is why it takes ALL DAY LONG to clean my itsy bitsy house.

Millie likes to think she is playing the Wii with Jack so I plopped them down and continued vacuuming. Then I hear a nonchalant little voice sweetly yelling, "Muuu-ooom, Millie has your markers."

I zoom down the stairs only to find this on not one, but two cushions:

Jack! Why oh why wasn't there any panic in your voice? We have 911 down, now we need to review what requires some sort of trepidation. What? Oh wait, yes I see. You are in first place and if you win Dry Dry Ruins you will be the winner of a giant banana trophy. Sorry to disturb you speed racer.

All I could keep saying was, why, why, why, oh why, why. I looked at Millie, ripped the sharpies out of her hands, she screams, I yell, "Why would you do this Millie. No, no, NO!" (All the while flailing the mother pointer finger) She stops, looks at me with her classic Millie scummy face like, "Uh, ex-cuuuuuuse me, I am not the idiot who left these on the top shelf of the computer desk that you totally know I can climb. It was totally your fault." ZING! You are so right and you can't even talk baby.

So as I am imagining the dollar signs of the dry cleaning bill I call Chris. We laugh, he tells me, "Good luck with that girl babe." And hangs up. What? Huh? Nope, pretty sure you are helping me raise this incognito junior Picaso, BABE.

A few seconds later the phone rings. Chris tells me that his co-worker, Joni, says to use hairspray. We are breaking the rules people, she is our person of the week! As we have gone over before it is usually a 38 year old wearing skinny jeans with no shirt, no shoes, a full-on mullet, from Preston, Idaho no less. (This was Chris's last week as seen in Pep Boys). I can picture it. "Honey, I'm headed down to Utah to Pep Boys. I need sumthin' reeeaal nice to wear. Get Jenny's jeans, I think that is what all the kids are wearing now a days. Nah, no shoes. I'll meetcha outside, I gotta go bungee cord the bumper back on before I go." Seriously this is what he saw, not lying. And my brother in law is totally from Preston and would hopefully back us up on this. And no, he doesn't squeeze into his daughters jeans, either.

Back to the giant Sharpie smears and the purpose of this post. The hairspray works! I love home remedies, but let's be honest rarely do they work in cases like these. I was super stoked! Just seriously spray/soak the hairspray on the surface. I didn't find that I needed to rub or blot. After it has been applied for a few minutes take it to the sink and use your sprayer. The hairspray magically lifted and went right down the drain. I did soak them in Oxyclean (best stuff EVER) over night and washed them in the morning. And VUUWALAAA:

If this ever happens to you, use the hairspray. Like all moms I never thought I would let writing on the walls happen, have things flushed down the toilet, or leash my child. Big fat HA-HA! in my face. I still don't understand the leash though. Fill me in on your thoughts if you are pro-leash or have any home remedies that actually work.