Love thy neighbor?

It's Friday, I pick up Jack from preschool, head to the movie store and Chik-fil-a.  At the drive through I decide to get a coke. Many of you know I am not a big soda fan, but mama's been a good girl this week and is gonna treat herself to some unnecessary sweetness.

I get home quick, get the kids fed, and Mills down for a nap before the guy from Robert Love comes to service our heater. He gets here at 2:00, right smack in the middle of that small window they give you between 1:00 and next Sunday.

I take Spike to the dog run behind the garage to get the barks away from the sleeping baby and mystery man. About ten minutes later I am mopping with the kitchen window open to diffuse the Pinesol fumes, I hear the dogs barking, and I hear,"Shut up Oso (neighbor's dog)! Shut the hell up!" and so on. I look out the window to find my neighbor yelling from a porch that borders our fence. We make eye contact. Wait, is she looking at me? Not sure. I keep staring. She yells and points right at my kitchen window, "You better shut up your G** DAMN dog!" Oh no she di'int!! 

My baby is asleep, Jack is watching a movie, and I have a mystery man in my basement so going over and kicking her ass isn't in the cards. I immediately drop the mop and head outside to see if she would like to talk. Probably a good idea she headed in because I would've gone gansta all up on her. I go in, keep mopping and think of my next move.

An hour later I have brought my heart rate down, but I am seriously vacuuming the hell out of my carpet. The once a year coke is kicking in. We have a past people, she has called THE COPS on Spike before. In the spring mom's were picking up from my house for mommy preschool. Spike barked for fifteen minutes during pick up that day. As he should, because he is a dog and all. Plus, I kind of like it that he barks when strangers are here. I am justifying I KNOW, but don't care. Oh, and did I  mention that when I was younger my father found rocks in our dog run and confronted her then? Pretty sure the ef word was involved in that conversation. So this is twenty years in the making. Thanks dad. 

I figured I would be the bigger person and politely take over my phone number so she may call me when this happens again and we can work it out so my kids aren't in ear shot of her yelling obscenities at their mother and dog. They are only allowed to hear my vulgarities lady!

My neighbor (also Oso's owner) gets home and takes the kids while I walk over. I feel like Rocky climbing those stairs. I am high fiving neighbors and karate chopping trees down as I make my way over. There is car in the driveway, she is home! I have minimal experience in confrontation, so this is awesome. I knock, no answer. I ring the doorbell and wait ever so patiently. She cracks the door open enough for her head to squeeze out and says, "Yes." I politely say I would like to talk about what had happened earlier in the day. She goes off saying my dog, who is an inside dog who sleeps about 22 hours out of the day, barks all day every day. I keep my cool and try to explain that we and the neighbors have been having work done on our houses (our neighbors are remodeling their bathroom currently). The ranting continues about the dogs. Then I say,"I didn't really come over to talk about dogs barking, I came over to say how inappropriate I found it that you yelled at me the way you did WHILE I AM INSIDE MY HOUSE." She claims she didn't, I call foul, she admits it and tells me to shut up my GD dog and that she is done dealing with this. What that means I don't know. Slams the door in my face. But wait! I wasn't done and had so much more to say!

So now I am to the point that I want to write her a letter to tell her that when she wants to put her big girl panties on and have and adult conversation with me I would be available. Chris poo poo'd that idea real quick. Good call honey. 

Does anyone have ideas on how to handle this? Do you have a neighbor who starts up a sawing project in the middle of singing happy birthday to your baby girl at her one year birthday party? Because they did that too.